2/19/07- T-Love Loses Paddle Championship; Future of Paddle Beer Pong in Doubt

Paddle beer pong may be on the brink of extinction.

Though T-Love losing the Paddle Championship to Single J was a shock to all, it was overshadowed by the ongoing issue of general dislike for Beer Pong with Paddles.

The championship match-up itself was a reflection of the poor state the sport is in. The reason that Single J, a man who had never had a title shot of any kind, appeared in this match was simply because all of the other superstars have expressed that they find paddle beer pong boring and want no part of it.

T-Love was the one who established paddle beer pong within the WBPF and had an official title sanctioned for it. He remains the only current superstar to support the game. Some insist this is the only reason he has held the championship for most of its existence, because no one else cares about it.

To be sure, Single J's victory was largely uneventful, with spectators often shouting “Boring” during volleys.

Once the match ended, most of the other superstars were eager to rip the net off the table in order to begin, in their words, “the real beer pong.” However, after the match ended, some superstars took some time to make their true opinions on the matter known.

“In my opinion, paddle matches blow dick,” said Freezer, one of the game’s largest critics. “There’s nowhere near as much drinking as in regular beer pong and the paddle game requires you to actually move around a little bit. It’s almost like exercise.”

“Paddle matches are fuckin’ stupid,” the Iceman chimed in.

“Man,” Fote added, “I’m like totally bored by this paddle stuff. I’mma go eat some chips till it’s over.”

T-Love, however, still maintains the belief that paddle beer pong is a great game and that people simply need to be more patient and give it a chance.

“Paddle beer pong is a really fun game,” T-Love insists, “and it adds some variety to just playing beer pong without paddles all the time. I think the problem is that most people weren’t good at it at first and that we still don’t have access to a regulation size ping pong table to play the game on. If we could get a regulation-size table and get a tournament going or something, people would then realize how awesome the game truly is.”

T-Love may not get a chance, though, according to the commissioner.

“Facts are,” said the commissioner, “we can’t have paddle matches if our superstars don’t want to participate in them and especially if the spectators are not getting into it. The low enthusiasm during the Paddle Championship at The Great American Beer Bash was the epitome of all the problems this match currently has. In fact, a few months ago, we saw T-Love and The Gah, two of our biggest superstars, play each other for the title and it was still received with mediocre enthusiasm. I can’t say why exactly, but people seem to enjoy watching paddle-less beer pong more than paddle beer pong.”

That being said, we had to ask the commissioner if this was the definitive end of paddle beer pong in the WBPF.

“We’ll see what happens, but there are still major obstacles to making paddle beer pong entertaining for our superstars and fans alike.”

Single J may never get a chance to defend his Paddle Championship.

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