Iceman Dominates Tank for Second Flip Cup Title Defense

It’s beginning to look like Iceman will be holding on to the Flip Cup Championship for a long time to come.

Iceman routed number one contender Tank flipping over all eight of his cups, with Tank only able to flip over four. The gap would have been even wider had Iceman not paused to taunt his opponent before drinking and flipping his final cup.

“This is getting ridiculous,” Iceman said, “I can’t believe how good I am. Then again, yes I can, because I’m awesome.”

For Tank, the match was an utter embarrassment for a man who many believed would finally put pretty-boy Iceman in his place. Tank had even talked a big game going into the match, perhaps a bit too confident from his recent World Heavyweight Championship reign.

“I’m truly disgusted at myself,” said Tank, “What can I say? I choked. I know damn well I can do much better than that. There’s no way he should beat me by four cups.”

Throughout the match, Iceman seemed completely unaffected by his recent arm injury, quickly jumping out to a strong lead over Tank and never looking back. At the end of the match, Iceman had converted all eight of his flip while only missing seven times for a flip-ratio of just over 50%.

“And we all know, that wasn’t even my best game,” Iceman gloated.

Tank was almost the complete opposite of Iceman, displaying downright atrocious flipping from the start. In a matter of seconds, it seemed as if he were already buried in an arguably insurmountable 4-0 deficit. In fact, Tank would miss thirteen flip attempts before finally converting his first cup. He would finish with a total of 23 missed flips with only four conversions, a sad performance by any standards.

“I flipped like a jackass. Let’s just leave it at that. Measures will be taken to ensure this never happens again.” Tank said.

Meanwhile, Iceman remains the absolute undisputed champion of flip cup. What does Iceman have to say about that?

“My nuts feel fuzzy.”

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