6/4/2008- Freezer Demands Paddle Title Shot!

Freezer’s determination to eliminate the WBPF’s Paddle Division reached new heights today when he revealed his newest plan to destroy it.

“It’s time for the Paddle Division to end once and for all.” Freezer said. “For that reason, I, the great Freezer, am demanding a Paddle Championship Match at Summer Sloshed.”

Freezer was quick to explain the reasoning for wanting to play in the championship match of a game he hates.

“Although it pains me to say it, I have come to accept that the only way I can demolish this abysmal game, is to become the champion, and therefore, official representative of it. I plan to train intensely for the match, and then after I win the Paddle Championship Belt, I will burn it and that will be the end of the Paddle Division in the WBPF.”

Freezer is willing to do whatever it takes to win the belt and doesn’t care who he has to go through to get it.

“I will become so good at the paddle match that I will demolish whoever the Paddle Champion happens to be at Summer Sloshed. I don’t care if it’s King Gah, T-Love, or Bacon, I’ll destroy them all. My determination to rid the world of Paddle Beer Pong is firm and unwavering.”

Freezer’s on-again, off-again partner Iceman has also pledged his support for this project. Iceman is rumored to be training Freezer and would be willing to play with Freezer in a 2-on-2 paddle match if necessary for the championship.

“Paddle matches blow dick.” Iceman stated. “Give me Schaefer Bowl anyday.”

The question is, will the commissioner grant Freezer a title shot simply because he asks for it?

“He will if he’s got any balls,” Freezer stated.

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