2/28/07-Schaefer Bowl is America’s #1 Issue

What originally began as a joke has quickly grown into the most talked about issue in the country. Ever since Iceman introduced the idea, citizens from all walks of life have repeatedly been asking about the Schaefer Bowl.

What exactly is the Schaefer Bowl? How is it played? Will playing it make me look cool in front of my skank girlfriend?

WorldBeerPongFederation.com took it upon itself to get some answers.

First, for your convenience, we summarized all known information and all highly speculated rumors.

Known Information:

*The Schaefer Bowl will involve Schaefer’s Quality Alcoholic Beverage.
*The Schaefer Bowl is the brain child of WBPF Superstar Iceman.
*This video is the only known mentioning of the Schaefer Bowl.

Popular Rumors:

*The Schaefer Bowl is not a pong-per-view, rather a separate championship with its own game.
*The Schaefer Bowl may involve paddles
*The Schaefer Bowl may require earning a disqualification to win
*The Schaefer Bowl may be a full-contact sport to be played outdoors

Unfortunately, Iceman has remained tight-lipped about The Schaefer Bowl, refusing to disclose any details since announcing its existence and insisting that it was the greatest thing in the history of anything, ever.

“The Schaefer Bowl will be beyond amazing,” Iceman said, “but I can only reveal it when the time is right.”

When asked when the right time would be, Iceman said that he did not know for sure, but that hopefully it would be soon.

It had been speculated that Freezer, a frequent partner of Iceman’s in WBPF competition, may know some details concerning the Schaefer Bowl so we asked him if he could tell us what this thing was.”

“Well, it’s not quite a Schaefer and not quite a bowl, but damn, it is it fucking awesome,” said Freezer before gloating over the fact that he was the one of two people on the entire planet who knew what the Schaefer Bowl is.

Having failed to find out what the Schaefer Bowl is, we took to the streets to see what some members of the general public had to say about it. We asked them the simple, open-ended question, what do you think of the Schaefer Bowl?

Bob Dillman, age 42, Roofer:

“I just hope it really is as amazing as Iceman keeps saying it is. Maybe the Schaefer Bowl can bring some excitement into my otherwise empty existence.

Jennifer Sparrows, 24, Bartender:

“I don’t care what it is. As long as the Iceman oils himself up for it, I’m game.”

Harold Cornwall, 47, Scoutmaster:

“I don’t really care. As long as it involves an oiled-up Iceman, I’m game.”

Baron Hendrickson, 32, Financial Consultant:

“The inevitable glory of Iceman’s Schaefer Bowl will likely make me feel even more inadequate about all of my many, many shortcomings.”

Iceman, your public is waiting. The ball is in your court now.