6/14/2007- Eventful Saturday Night Creates New Champions! Tank Dethrones The Gah!

The elite and sacred group of WBPF World Heavyweight Champions finally has its fourth member. His name is Tank.

“This is the greatest moment of my life,” an excited Tank stated after his victory. “There’s no point in me getting married or having kids now since nothing will ever top this.”

At some point during Saturday night, The Gah, arrogant as ever, boasted that he could defend his world title in a fatal fourway match against the WBPF’s best talent and still come out a winner. Thus the match was set for him to face Tank, T-Love, and Dr. Pepper Ph.D, but this time, his arrogance would finally do him in.

The Gah was the main target in the early stages of the match as most of the shots were directed at his cups.

“I have no regrets about going after The Gah,” Tank said, “He’s had that belt for long enough, the hell with him.”

Eventually, the moment everyone was waiting for happened. A beautiful T-Love shot fell into The Gah’s final cup, ending his nearly nine month long title reign.

“Everyone needs to calm the fuck down,” said a frustrated Gah to the press. “You all act like I’m going to be without that belt for long.”

Despite only having two cups to Tank and Dr. Pepper’s three, T-Love was seemingly the favorite to win the match. Tank, however, would have none of it as it only took him a few shots to eliminate T-Love, who failed to do any further damage.

“I thought I was in the driver’s seat” T-Love said, “I just didn’t expect Tank to be so accurate with his shots, given his history and the fact that he was shooting at me from a diagonal angle in a free-for-all style match. Him eliminating me so swiftly was the defining moment of the match, in my opinion, and the reason he deserves to be champion right now.”

From there, Tank and Dr. Pepper would battle each other down to one cup apiece. Everyone in the house was standing as the two superstars frantically shot at each other, so very desperate to win the prestige of being the World Heavyweight Champion.

In the end, Tank would be the one to hit the last cup and elevate himself to champion status.

“This is a hard loss to swallow,” said Dr. Pepper, “I was this close to being a world champion only to have to stand there and watch Tank celebrate. I suppose he deserved it, but we’ll see how good he really is when he has to defend it in a normal beer pong match.”

The only thing left to do was ask Tank what he was going to do next now that he was world champion.

“Get drunk, son!”

Tank poses in celebration minutes after winning his first World Heavyweight Championship.

******

The Gah and Tank are New Tag Team Champions

Earlier in the night, T-Love was forced to defend the tag team belts by himself since his partner Justine was not present.

“This is what happens when you get women involved with pong,” T-Love said. “I’m glad I ended up losing this match.”

T-Love would shoot with his left arm in place of Justine as he took on The Gah and Tank as challengers.

“How do you like that,” Tank joked, “I was allowed to partner up with The Gah since I was still a mid-carder at the beginning of the night. It would turn out that this was arguably the most dominant team that could possibly be put together at the moment since it turned out I was playing at a World Championship caliber level all night. I just hadn’t been recognized for it yet.”

Tank and The Gah would make quick work of the cups for T-Love’s left arm, which was unable to do much since it was not his dominant arm. T-Love would put up a valiant effort with his right arm, but he just couldn’t topple both of his competitors who were both nearly had all their cups still remaining.

“T-Love’s right arm, strong as it is from frequent masturbation, was just no match for this overwhelming tag team, which I am dubbing as the present, future, and eventually, ultimate throwback of beer pong.” stated The Gah.

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*** The WBPF would like to remind you that whenever playing a drinking game or just drinking in general, you should always do it responsibly. Also, please don't drink and drive.***