8/01/2008-
The Summer Sloshed Table: A New Summer Classic is Born!
If
there’s a better summer-themed beer pong table in
existence, you’re a fucking liar or just have bad
taste.
This
past weekend saw the completion of construction of the Summer
Sloshed beer pong table. At last the final obstacle
has been cleared for the eagerly-anticipated pong-per-view
to take place.
“This
is by far the most colorful table we’ve ever done,”
stated the commissioner at a press conference yesterday.
“I firmly believe that our superstars will shine even
brighter playing on this magnificent table.”
Highlights
of the table include a bright-blue-sky base color, sand
and palm tree designs, and a centerpiece of a sun-wearing-sunglasses
who has clearly had his fair share of alcoholic drinks.
“That
sun has clearly been drinking can after can of delicious
Milwaukee’s Best fine alcoholic beverage.” WBPF
Superstar Freezer noted.
 |
A
Shooter's view of the table. |
The
table received rave reviews at its unveiling, leaving hardcore
fans to debate where it will rank among the greatest tables
of the WBPF.
“This
is clearly the greatest WBPF table ever,” stated longtime
fan Jonathan Anglers of Sacramento, California. “All
of the other pong-per-view designs have led up to this,
quite possibly the pinnacle of WBPF art design.”
Others
were not so quick to crown it as the new champion of tables.
“Summer
Sloshed is cool and all, but give me The Great American
Beer Bash any day,” said Gregory Simmons of Jacksonville,
Florida. “Truth be told, when they stopped using dollar-store
paint to make their tables, they lost their edge. Things
just haven’t been the same since.”
“Fuck
you all, Intoxicade rules!” cried another
fan.
 |
The
table looks amazing even from a distance and in
low-resolution. |
Of
course, the outcome of the Summer Sloshed PPV will go a
long way in determining the legacy of the table itself.
“There’s
still a lot of beer pong, flip cup, and drink ball to be
played before we can give any kind of accurate rating to
Summer Sloshed,” said veteran superstar T-Love. “As
for my initial impressions, I really wish we could take
this thing to a beach and play there. Beer pong is just
begging for a major outdoor event.”
Stay
tuned for more on Summer Sloshed.
Back
